Planning for the Holidays

If you’ve been to any store lately you’ve seen that the holiday decorations have hit the stores. It’s the time of year that puts everyone in a good mood until the time that the family arrives on your doorstep. Then of course, the rush is on to get it all done in time. If you’re anything like me and my family, there are always last minute trips to the store to get everything that is needed for the dinner and the delivery of presents.

Now is the time to plan out your whole event. You should know now whether you are traveling to a relatives’ for the holiday or even just for dinner. It’s a good time to start planning your menu’s and your presents for the people on your list.

Here are a few things to make your holidays run a bit smoother:

1. Write a list of each person who is to receive a present. If you need to draw names, make it happen via email this week.  Then select a budget for each person and draw the cash out and put it in envelopes. Make a vow to stay within the budget you’ve set.

2. Start by perusing the catalogs. It’s an easier way to shop. There are so many catalogs on line now so shopping on line will help you stay away from that crazy holiday rush.

3. Shopping in one place certainly saves time, and places like TJ MAX and Marshalls are old favorites and do carry affordable items for the whole family.

4. Once you’ve gotten the shopping done, it’s time to start the decorating.  I usually purchase a few magazines specifically for the holidays and do one art project that will last. It’s been fun to see  my projects through the years that took a day to make, but have been in our family for years. If you’re “crafty” enough, then these items make excellent gifts for your friends and neighbors. Presents like pinecone wreaths or candle covers are easy, fun to make and last for years.

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5. Next, comes the cooking! This is the one that seems like it should wait, but in realty it’s a great time to start right now! We still have a few weekends before Thanksgiving and those early Saturday mornings are a great time to bake up and decorate holiday cookies and bars. In addition, homemade jellies and jams make excellent holiday gifts to share. My personal favorite is Hot Jezabel. I make it with pineapple and apricot jelly, horseradish, dry mustard and black pepper. It is delicious on top of cream cheese with crackers. Put in a cute jar, with a box of crackers, the recipe in a basket makes an affordable and delicious gift.

6. Get your kids dressed and head to the nearest hotel lobby for a beautiful holiday picture!  Sure, you can go to a studio and spend upwards of $100, or you can get dressed and go to a nice hotel where you can take a picture that is classy and will impress your friends!  Get them printed at Walmart and you’re good to go for your holiday newsletter and card!

7. Last but not least, understand that the holidays are some of the most stressful times of the year. If you have a family and are traveling or entertaining, you need to schedule some time for relaxing without doing anything. Book your manicure ahead of time or a fun cookie exchange evening out with the gals in advance.

Then kick back and enjoy the time this year. If you plan ahead this year, like you SAID you would last year, you’ll be able to relax and enjoy the holidays creating memories, instead of stress!

Organizing For The Holidays

Take some of the stress out of the holidays by getting organized now. The key to holiday organizing is to start early, take baby steps, and make lists (i.e. gifts, budget, meals, cards, etc.). Now is also the time to go through clothes, toys, and other household items to make room for the presents soon to come.

Greeting cards can almost cause as much stress as shopping. Plan to complete your cards over a week or two. Gather all your letter-writing materials before you start, and keep them in one place until you finish. If you like to send a general update along with a personalized note, write that first. Then add a personal touch to a couple cards a day, and you will be finished in no time.

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Before you ever step foot in a store, have everyone make gift lists (including stores). This way you can give to others what they want instead of something that will become clutter to them. Plus, you have one less decision to make. Make shopping easier by setting a deadline so you can enjoy the holiday season. The earlier you start and finish your shopping, the shorter the lines and better the selection. When you can, shop odd hours for a less hectic experience; avoid malls and post offices on the weekends if possible. Shop online when applicable. If you do not know what to get someone for a holiday present, think consumable; a consumable gift will probably not go to waste or add to the clutter. You can even have everyone contribute to a group meal or activity, or you can set up a Secret Santa exchange. When it comes time for wrapping, create a separate space with all necessary supplies so you can wrap easily and quickly, if necessary. For extra-large gifts, use a paper, holiday tablecloth for wrapping paper.

Do not overwhelm yourself by cleaning the house from top to bottom; concentrate on the public areas. Guests will appreciate your hard work and still be able to enjoy your company. If you tend to decorate similarly from year to year, take a picture of your decorations to speed the process next year. Prepare for unexpected guests; keep an inventory of quick food items such as cheese and crackers, tea and coffee, frozen cookies, etc. For your planned gatherings, allow enough time for cleaning, cooking, and decorating by counting back from the time of your party. Keep meals simple or ask guests to bring a dish to reduce your preparation time and stress. Delegate or ask for help with some of these activities; it will take a little of the stress off you and may even turn several of the chores in to fun.

Once all the festivities have passed, the idea of cleaning up and taking down the decorations may invite some of that stress back into your life. Stop it in its tracks – have an informal “undecorating” party. Most chores take less time and are more fun when you have friendly company and a couple extra hands. When it comes to Christmas decorations and supplies, use appropriately sized storage containers that are sturdy and label, label, label! A couple extra minutes at the end of this season could save hours when it is time to decorate next year. This is also a good time to update your card list while everything is fresh in your memory. If it turns out you forgot someone this year, you can always send a New Year’s card.

Just remember, the holidays are about friends, family, and fun. Take the stress out of holiday preparations and enjoy the good times by preparing early, asking for help, and keeping it simple.

How To Indulge And Win The Battle Of The Bulge During The Holidays

If you are trying to lose weight, the holidays literally are the heaviest time of the year.

So how do you eat, drink and be merry while you’re counting every single calorie? By getting a buddy who will help you make the right choices bite by bite.

Scientific studies have shown that people who diet with partners are much more likely to lose weight and to keep it off. And there’s no more crucial time to have a buddy on your side than from Thanksgiving to New Year’s.

“During the holidays, you can use all the help you can get,” says Alan Gettis, a nutritionist and clinical psychologist in River Edge, N.J. “I urge my clients to get a full-time year-round a buddy, it could be a husband or a wife, a neighbor or a friend. I But don’t wait for the first feast to find a buddy, says Susan Holmberg, a nutritionist and behavioral therapist in Oradell, N.J. “Once you start overeating, you don’t want a “Buddy,” she says.

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Buddies give you moral support and help you identify bad eating habits and patterns because they have been there, too, she says. “You may want to have more than one buddy,” she says. “You can have one on the phone and one who exercises with you and goes to parties with you. You can make deals with your buddy where you both go to the party but only one of you goes through the buffet line or where you agree to split one meal.”

Buddies also are like therapists and coaches, who listen to you and keep you on the right path. “Your buddy should be a person you can share your feelings with and rely on in a pinch without fear that your feelings will be used as ammunition against you,” Gettis says.

Holmberg says that using a “Buddy” is particularly helpful to people who may be reluctant to change because those who sign on can choose a either real-life buddy, someone in their geographical area they can meet and exercise with, or select someone to work with solely online or via the phone. “Sometimes anonymity is good,” she says. “You are much more likely to try it if you don’t have to meet the person.”

Gettis points out that with a “Buddy”, “you can find someone with similar goals, and both of you can support each other.”

Buddies also take on active roles, getting you to stop a bad habit and replace it with a healthy one. Gettis likens the process to a marathon, where the runners are tempted to give up before the 26th mile because it is so difficult to stay the course. “The 18- to 19-mile mark is the crucial one,” he says. “During a marathon I was once in, I came upon two guys running – one was hurting, and the other was encouraging him to keep running. I followed them for two to three miles, and the one kept saying, ‘Leave me.’ The other kept saying, ‘I’m not going to.’ And I thought, ‘What great friends!’ Then I heard the one hurting say, ‘What’s your name?’”

Perhaps the most important role that buddies play is helping plan strategies and then making sure that you make them work. “They can teach you to take baby steps and to change your environment,” Holmberg says. “For instance, they may suggest that you keep sneakers in your trunk or put on your gym clothes as you leave the office so you don’t have an excuse not to exercise. They can call ahead to the party to check on the menu and give you a low-cal recipe to bring so there’s at least one thing that you can eat.”

Holmberg says that some of the changes are so simple that people overlook them. A buddy may, for instance, suggest that you get at the end of the buffet line so there is less food available or help the host wash dishes because if your hands are wet, you are less likely to nibble on the last remaining crumbs from the serving dishes. “If you are asked to bring dessert, your buddy may remind you not to make chocolate chip cookies because the last time you ate a dozen cookies before you brought them to the party and nibbled the chips while baking and suggest that instead you make something like a pie that can’t be nibbled because it is cut only when served.”

Buddies also can help you practice being assertive, not aggressive to make significant changes in your diet and your lifestyle. “By being assertive, you attack the task,” Gettis says. “By being aggressive, you attack the person. You need to stand your ground and in a firm but angry voice say: ‘I really would appreciate it if you would not bring home anything fattening. You may have had good intentions, but I’d feel better if you didn’t do it again.’”

So don’t wait until you’re boxed in by back-to-back parties and surrounded by wall-to-wall goodies to find a buddy. Make an early New Year’s resolution to do it now, long before the marathon feasts begin, Gettis says. “You have to be realistic, so don’t count on losing 10 to 12 pounds during the holidays. Don’t say you’ll lose 10 pounds during the holidays, and don’t gain 10 either. And get someone to be your buddy for all 12 months of the year. You have nothing to lose – but weight.”

Copyright Weight Loss Buddy Press 2005

Happy Holidays? It’s Up To You

The Holiday Season. Does time seems to compress, or is it just me? There's so much going on - the end of autumn, the beginning of winter, and all the holidays that follow. As a child it was an exciting time of year. As an adult, it seems filled with more shopping, baking, parties, and other events than I can squeeze into the available time.

In Aikido, the martial art that I practice and teach, we have something called "randori," an exercise in which the student stands alone on the practice mat and as many as five opponents attack simultaneously. Sometimes the holidays feel like this - which task, event, or relationship do I take on first?

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The first secret of randori is to handle one attack at a time. I can't let myself become overwhelmed by the enormity of what's out there. I must stay fully present with what's right in front of me. It's hard to do, but it saves time, energy, and wear and tear!

Secret #2 is to engage the attack. Though it sounds counterintuitive, welcoming the attack puts me in charge of it. I decide what I want to handle first and move toward it.

Planning a family dinner, finding places to stay for the relatives, shopping for holiday gifts, getting the budget report done on time, AND hiring a new administrative assistant - each task by itself might be doable, even enjoyable, but taken together they seem overwhelming. How to stay balanced and effective?

In the midst of life's multiple, simultaneous events:
- Know that each can be an attack or a gift - it's up to you.
- Engage one task at a time.
- Every time you experience the pressure of "How can I possibly do it all?" - stop and BE where you are, and give your relaxed presence to the task at hand.

Gradually you'll feel in charge of the only things you can be in charge of - yourself and the present moment.

Happy Holidays!

Getting Into The Holiday Spirit

What comes to mind when you think about the holidays?

Do you groan, feeling burdened by all you have to do? Do you dread going shopping for gifts or cleaning up after a Christmas or Chanukah celebration?

Or, do you feel a sense of fun, of delight, of joy in the celebrating, giving and receiving?

Which part of you is in charge of the holidays – your judgmental self or your loving self?

 Think for a moment about the little child in you – the child that loved the holidays. What delighted you about Christmas or Chanukah? Most kids are really excited about receiving gifts, but many children also feel equally excited about giving gifts. Did you enjoy decorating your house?

Or, were the holidays a sad time, a time of heartbreak due to not having enough money? Or a time of loneliness due to the loss of a loved one? Were they a time of stress in your family? Was there abuse around the holiday time?

Whatever the situation of the past, you have an opportunity now, as an adult, to give your own inner child the Christmas or Chanukah he or she wants and deserves. You have an opportunity to move into gratitude for what you have rather than anxiety for all you have to do. Instead of choosing to dread or resist the holiday spirit, why not open to it, embrace it, feel the grace of it?

Let the child in you do the shopping for gifts. Let the child in you receive the delight of picking out just the right gift for a friend or loved one. Or let the child in you find some way to give, some way to share your love. Even if you are alone or poor, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, find a way to give your caring to someone who has less than you.

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The holiday spirit is about gratitude and giving. Take the opportunity to notice how fulfilling it is to joyously give rather than to resist or be angry about the work involved.
Take this opportunity to discover how full your heart feels when you choose to feel grateful rather than grumpy.

Feelings come from thoughts. If you choose to think, “Oh no, the holidays are here already. There is just too much work to do,” you may feel anxious and overwhelmed. If you choose to think, “What a drag to have to go out and buy presents,” you may feel resentful. If you choose to think, “Another holiday season and I am still alone,” you may feel depressed. If you choose to think, “This is just a commercial holiday so business can make money,” you may feel angry.

However, if you choose to think, “How can I make this fun?” you may feel excited. If you choose to think, “How can I give to others this holiday?” you may feel open hearted. If you choose to think, “I get to buy things for the people I love,” you may feel grateful.

So who do you want to be this holiday season? You can choose to be a Grinch, close-hearted and angry about Christmas. You can choose to be tense, anxious, judgmental, depressed, fearful, withdrawn, or resistant.

Or you can choose to be happy, peaceful, excited, grateful, loving, open hearted, and joyous. It is all up to you. How you feel is the result of how you choose to think about the holidays.

Why not try an experiment this holiday?” Refuse to allow negative thoughts. Instead, make a list of positive thoughts and as soon as a negative thought comes up, imagine changing channels on a TV, switching to the positive channel. Then notice how you feel!

Get Your Holidays Started With How The Grinch Stole Christmas Tickets

How the Grinch Stole Christmas tickets are always a great way to get you and your family into the holiday spirit, and this year, the classic book and film is coming to the theater stage. Dr. Seuss is one of the most unique writers in history, and his stories always give a different perspective on timeless lessons in the form of comedy and intriguing prose. We’ll take a look below at just how this story has become such a phenomenon.

About the Story

The story, predictably, is about the Grinch. The Grinch is an unsightly green creature with a heart that’s two sizes too small who lives with his only friend and companion, his dog Max, on the top of Mount Crumpit.  Mount Crumpit oversees Whoville, where the town’s residents, called the “Whos,” live amongst themselves.

As Christmas approaches, the Grinch becomes increasingly annoyed as he hears more bustle than normal from the town’s residents as they prepare for the forthcoming holiday. The Grinch does not like happiness, and he decides to act on his frustration in order to find himself some peace and quiet.

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The Grinch forms a plan to steal all the children’s Christmas gifts and holiday decorations in Whoville, as he believes that this will prevent Christmas from arriving. The Grinch comes down from the mountain and successfully steals everything he wants to take, and he is quite satisfied with his efforts.

However, the result of this crime spree is exactly where How the Grinch Stole Christmas tickets begin to reveal the message that’s delivered to every audience. Despite the absence of gifts and decorations, the people of Whoville still celebrate Christmas with the same zest and cheer.

The Grinch is stunned by this development, as he realizes that the holiday is about much more than gifts, decorations and other material things. As a result, the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes, and he is filled with the holiday spirit of giving and appreciation for what he has. His heart also grows by three sizes, and he basks in the acceptance of the townspeople when he returns everything he has stolen.

Overall, the works of Dr. Seuss are timeless in nature, and the stories’ audiences know no age limits. If you want to combine the holiday spirit, the gift of giving and a valuable lesson for your family or loved ones, How the Grinch Stole Christmas tickets will provide a solution for all of these desires.

ESCAPE the Holiday Productivity Blahs

It’s that time of year again: the time of holiday parties, Christmas cards to write, shopping to do (even online…at work!), vacations, family commitments, and more stress.  It is no wonder that a recent survey by Accountemps found that 44% of executives feel employees are less productive the week before a major holiday.

While this may be true, there are ways that we as leaders can counteract all of the distractions and stress and help people be as productive now as at any time of the year. Following are some suggestions to keep the focus and results high as the bells ring louder and the shopping days disappear.  Rather than avoiding the challenges or denying the distractions the season offers, ESCAPE the problems by applying the suggestions below.

Expect good results. Set high expectations and you will typically get great results.  Set low ones and you’ll get the matching results too. As a leader, one of your responsibilities is to set clear expectations and goals for others.  However successful you have been at communicating and gaining understanding on these expectations, the holidays require some additional expectation setting.  Give people a sense of where they are on their annual goals, and encourage them to finish the year strong.  As you set and reinforce these expectations, remember to give people the support and resources they need to succeed.  And of course, lead by example.  Have high expectations of yourself to finish the year strong.

Share spirit.  While some people have a bit of a cynical, stressed out, scrooge attitude towards the holidays, most find their spirits lifted and thoughtfulness is at an annual high.  Encourage people to show their spirit and sense of goodwill when communicating with others inside the organization.  Even more importantly, encourage those sales people, Customer Service professionals and others who communicate with Customers to use that holiday good cheer in their interactions.  Customers will notice and everyone wins.

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Celebrate! You probably have a holiday party at a restaurant or hotel, which is great.  But consider doing an on-site workday event too. There are many options -“Secret Santa”, a white elephant gift exchange, or daily afternoon holiday snack break with different people bringing things each day are just three suggestions.   A little time spent here can help build relationships, bring people closer together and focus them on their work for the rest of the day and week.  Make sure to let people who are interested in these kinds of events plan them – don’t delegate it to the unwilling or overworked because it won’t have the same results.

Acknowledge the challenges and distractions.  Let people know that you realize the holidays are a tough time of year to stay focused.  Share your shopping and social calendar with them, so they understand that you feel the seasonal stress that they feel too.  When people know you understand their situation, you gain credibility when talking about expectations and year end goals.

Present positive anticipation for the New Year.  Give people something to look forward to.  Get them excited about a target or project that will make a real difference early in the New Year.  Giving people this forward focus will help the focus now, but will really help people past the doldrums that can come after January 1.

Engage outside your organization.  Take the lead by organizing a group to lead a toy campaign, contribute to a food drive, or better yet, do something as a team in the community.  Your group will feel proud of their efforts, pleased that their organization supported and encouraged the activity, and the team will improve their relationships which has a long term impact on team health and productivity.

These suggestions individually can help you navigate the holiday season more effectively.  Taken together, however, they will help you ESCAPE the pitfalls and make December a valuable and productive close to the year and a jump start to the new one.

Christmas Around the World

Christmas in the Birthplaces of Traditions -- Bethlehem, Germany and England

        Christmas as celebrated today is a culmination of centuries of  traditions that are religious and secular and which came from different  countries around the world. It is interesting therefore to look at some of the  general ways in which Christmas is celebrated in these countries. The traditions
examined for each country will be examples of some of the things that are unique  to that country and which are done today, or which were once done by people in  those countries.

       To begin, it is symbolic to look at the town of Bethlehem, which is  believed to be the birthplace of Jesus. The Church of the Nativity is located in  Bethlehem and at Christmas it is decorated with a lot of flags and other  Christmas decorations. A very large crowd usually gathers at The Church of the
Nativity on Christmas Eve to see a dramatic parade procession of horsemen, led  by police who are mounted on Arabian horses. Following the police in the  procession is a lone horseman who carries a cross, followed by churchmen and  government officials. Members of the procession solemnly enter the doors of The  Church of the Nativity and place an ancient effigy of Jesus in the church. A  silver star located deep in an underground cave-like section of the church marks  the site where Jesus was born. A star is also set atop a pole in the town's  square. In Bethlehem, homes of Christians usually have a cross over the door and  a manger scene is usually set up inside the house.   

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        In Germany, home of the Christmas tree tradition, the Christmas tree  is not seen until Christmas Eve. The tree is usually kept in a special room, or  elsewhere, and decorated in secret with lights, ornaments, tinsels, angels,  candies, nuts and cookies. It is then lighted, the presents placed underneath  and then shown to the delight of Children on Christmas Eve. In Germany, Dec. 6
is known as St. Nicholas Day when Santa visits the homes of boys and girls. On  the day before, Dec. 5, children leave a shoe or boot outside or by the  fireplace for Santa Claus. If they were good, he places gifts and candies inside  the shoe. But if they were naughty, children will find twigs or a rod in their  shoe. Dinner on Christmas Day includes roast goose, long loaves of bread filled  with raisins, nuts and dried fruits. Other sweet delicacies are also enjoyed. Many traditions in England are similar to those in the United States because  such traditions originated in England and were brought to the United States by  immigrants. The tradition of sending Christmas greeting cards started in England
and is still popular at Christmas, as well as the tradition of neighborhood  caroling on Christmas Eve. Children also hang stockings on Christmas Eve in  anticipation of Santa Claus filling them with Christmas gifts or treats. The  holly, ivy and mistletoe are also used a lot in Christmas decorations. In
England, the traditional Christmas Dinner is roast turkey, goose or chicken with  stuffing, vegetables and roast potatoes. Dessert consists of the British or  Christmas pudding with brandy sauce. A rich, fruit-filled Christmas cake may  also be enjoyed later in the day.  A tradition of pulling Christmas crackers  also goes with the serving of food on Christmas Day. A cracker is a paper tube  that contains a party hat, riddle, toy or trinket, and is brightly colored and  twisted at both ends. It gives out a crack as the contents pop out when it is  pulled at each end. Also on Christmas afternoon, the Queen broadcasts a  Christmas message to the nation, which is heard on radio and television. The day
after Christmas is also a holiday that is known as Boxing Day.

Ancient Celebrations Of The Christmas Holiday

Christmas may very well be the oldest holiday that is shared across the many cultures of the world; it is traditionally celebrated during the winter season (or even the warm summer season if you count Australia, where Christmas is celebrated as an official holiday).

Before Christmas was celebrated, people were finding time to celebrate in Europe during the winter holiday before the birth of Jesus Christ ever even occurred!


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The Winter Solstice has always been a time to celebrate and rejoice; it is celebrated on December 21 in the northern hemisphere and it was after the Winter Solstice that the worst part of the year was behind them. It was at that point during the year that the days began to get longer, giving the people more time to spend outside on their crops and tending to their animals.

In Scandinavia during the Winter Solstice, men and their sons used to go in to the woods to cut a tree down. After the tree had been felled, a nicely sized log was cut out of it, and the men would carry the log back to the home. This log was dubbed a Yule Log, and the Yule log was burned in the fireplace. The entire time the Yule log burned, the family would feast. Often times the Yule log might burn for a whole twelve days! Of course, as the Yule log burned it sent sparks out of the hearth and as the sparks flew out of the fire place, the family would count the sparks and each spark stood for a farm animal (a cow, a goat, a pig, etc) that would be born on their property that year. It is important to note that farm animals were signs of wealth back then.

Saturnalia is a celebration of the Winter Solstice that occurred in ancient pagan Rome. Saturnalia was celebrated in honor of the god of agriculture, who was named Saturn. During the time of Saturnalia, the entire Roman empire is in a state of social disarray. Servants and peasants spend time with and celebrate the holiday with people of higher classes, which was a rarity back then.

The Saturnalia festival in itself can last as long as an entire week in Rome. During that time, people rejoiced all over the country of Rome. The phrase ‘eat, drink, and be merry’ was played out to its fullest. Shops and businesses are closed during the Festival of Saturnalia. Following the first week of Saturnalia, the festival itself usually ends, but the Saturnalia period itself does not end.

In addition to Saturn, the Roman god of agriculture, the Romans also worshipped an infant type god named Methra, who was carved out of a rock. On Mithra’s birthday, people also rejoiced, just as they did during Saturnalia. The day of this rock god’s birthday was one of the most sacred days of the year for the Roman people. It was a time for celebration and togetherness, and for family.

Alone for the Holidays?

Being alone is a challenge for many people. This challenge may loom especially large during the holidays if you are single or newly divorced and without family around you. Holidays are a time to share love, and many people end up feeling depressed when they do not have people around with whom to share love. If you are in this situation, what can you do to make the holidays joyous rather than depressing?

The key phrase here is SHARE LOVE. Too often people think in terms of getting love rather than giving and sharing their love. They don’t realize that it is the act of giving their love that is so very fulfilling.

Gail had grown up very lonely in an emotionally distant family, with parents who did not freely give their love and relatives who were also cold and distant. She had married an emotionally distant man, and after 7 years of more loneliness, had decided to leave him. This was her first holiday season alone.

Gail decided that she was not going to be alone and lonely again this holiday season. She did some research on service agencies that needed volunteers and discovered a women’s shelter in her area for women and their children who were hiding from physically abusive husbands. The shelter was badly in need of funds for food, which Gail didn’t have. What she did have was the time to help gather food. Each day, after her job as a secretary, Gail went around to the markets in her area until she found some willing to donate Thanksgiving dinners for the mothers and their children. Then, on Thanksgiving Day, she spent her time at the shelter cooking, decorating, serving, and having Thanksgiving dinner with these brave women who had left their abusive husbands to save themselves and their children. It was the best Thanksgiving she ever had! By choosing to share her love with people who needed her, she felt filled with love.

Gail had such a fulfilling experience that she found a small part-time job in addition to her regular job so that she could afford to buy presents for the children at the shelter for Christmas. She had such fun buying presents for the children and watching their joyous little faces as they opened them on Christmas day! Gail felt anything but alone and lonely.

Gary was in a similar situation to Gail. He was single, had been an only child to parents who were no longer alive, and had no close relatives. His janitorial business did not give him much opportunity to make friends. Gary had spent many lonely holidays feeling isolated and depressed, and decided a few years ago to do something about it.

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Gary loved animals. As a child, his dog had been his main connection with love. After some research, Gary discovered that there was a wonderful animal shelter within a half-hour of his home – a shelter that loved and cared for animals and didn’t euthanize them. Gary started to volunteer one day a week on the weekends – cleaning, feeding, playing with puppies and kittens, helping to interview people who wanted to adopt a pet, and getting to know the other volunteers. He found that he really connected with the people who volunteered there. Many of them were loving people who were deeply devoted to caring for animals. As his friendships developed, he found he had a new sense of family centered around the shelter. Thanksgiving and Christmas were now sometimes spent with the other volunteers who did not have families, and sometimes with the families of some of the volunteers. Gary’s life had become full and fulfilling. The last I heard, he was dating a woman who also volunteered at the animal shelter.

No matter what your life situation is, you can always share your love with others. Instead of feeling alone and lonely this holiday season, open your heart to giving. There are many people and animals out there who would welcome your love.

All I Want For Christmas ... Is Time To Myself

Get the turkey; check the Black Friday ads; make the Christmas card list; start shopping; put up the decorations; attend school concerts; make cookies; make fudge; make school party goody bags; get a gift to pass; send out the cards; pick out the tree; replace the bulbs; hang the outside lights; go to the office party; more shopping; assemble presents; wrap presents ….

Busy moms far and wide will tell you it's the same each year. Every year you decide that next year won't be as hectic – yet somehow it always is. This year vow to find some time for yourself during the busy and stressful holiday season.

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We've all heard it before: if you keep doing what you've been doing, you will keep getting what you have been getting. You can look to find that time all month long. However you will not find some time for yourself unless you make some time for yourself.

Make is an action verb meaning to cause to happen to or be experienced by someone. If you are just going about the necessities of the holiday season aimlessly hoping for a few spare moments of solitude, you will not find that time.

Right now, before the weeks close in on the blessed event, turn a new leaf. You have to consciously decide upon and then commit to following your action plan. Start with your calendar. If you're a mom, you have a calendar of some form. Decide now if you want 15 minutes daily of nothing or one whole afternoon weekly of nothing.


It's not a new idea to schedule some time to yourself. What may be new is that you are actually going to write – in pen – the word "Nothing" each week (or day) on your calendar. You must agree to treat that time as if it was an orthodontist appointment. You will not schedule anything else in that time frame.

Mom's taxi service generally puts on a few miles. Vow to turn off your cell phone while you are traveling in the car. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, in case the children need to reach you then vow not to answer it. And that means do not make phone calls either.

"But… but… I'm so busy. I have to make those calls!" Did you know that studies have been conducted by zoologists regarding animals and downtime? If the animals are left out in the public eye for more than six days they become agitated. Each week, zookeepers pull the animals inside for a day of rest and relaxation.

If the lions, tigers and bears need some downtime without stimulation, doesn't it stand to reason that Homo sapiens do too? Do you find yourself getting a little agitated if you are left out in the public eye too long to deal with all the demands placed on a busy mom?

Your body was created to need downtime. Still not convinced? Consider the workplace production studies. Some employees are pushing for four 10-hour days instead of five eight hour days. However the studies show that productivity declines significantly after eight hours of working. They may be present for ten hours but only fully productive for eight. All your madness isn't really giving you productivity.

Perhaps you're hoping for some magical tips on how to find more time for yourself. You want someone to tell you that if you follow steps 1, 2 and 3 this holiday season will be so much more relaxed than you were last year.

All you really need is step one – make a conscious effort that you will make time and that you will not allow outside influences to interfere with your very much needed time to yourself.

You are only as busy and harried as you allow yourself to be. It is within your span of control to enjoy the busy weeks of the holiday season.

Dr. Paul Pearsall said it best in his book, Toxic Success: How to Stop Striving and Start Thriving, "The work will wait while you watch the rainbow. The rainbow won't wait while you work.”

10 Ways Music Can Help You During The Holidays

This might be a time of year where you’re looking for, oh, some different ways to soothe, level, motivate, energize yourself and otherwise get on top of your cascading emotions. The EQ Foundation Course© emphasizes the great arts as an adjunct to Emotional Intelligence, though the not-so-great are helpful too. May we suggest?

1. Need to get solidly centered

Like, as the metaphysicians say, when you vision yourself growing a tail and having it grow like an anchor down to the center of the earth kind of centered?

Try anything with a big solid bass, up loud, but make sure the lyrics don’t interfere. The right-brain will dominate and you’ll hear the music first, but your left-brain will still be getting the lyrics. Therefore avoid, for instance, "Oh Elizabeth" with it's solid beat but sad lyrics.

OUR SUGGESTION: “I Loved ‘Em Everyone,” by T. G. Sheppard

2. Need to deal with something heavy, such as last year your father died on Christmas Eve and here comes the first anniversary

OUR SUGGESTION: Only classical music will work for this and that’s why we call it classical. For such a deep need, to maintain your grip when something’s rocked the foundation of your world, we recommend, Beethoven’s “Eroica”.

"Eroica" means "heroic" and that you will need to be. Beethoven lived through the worst thing that can happen to a person. It’s there, in his music. For you.

3. To get lightly level

OUR SUGGESTION: Nothing will probably ever compare to Pachelbel’s "Canon". After that we give 5 stars to George Winston, particularly “December.” Good masseuses play these tapes. There are no ups and downs and that may be just what you're aiming at. :)

4. To rip the heart out of Christmas, like when you want to just sit down in front of the tree and cry at the beauty and the splendor of it all and get it over with and then eat a pint of Haagen Daz and go to sleep.

OUR SUGGESTION: Pavorotti's Christmas video (www.youtube.com), Panis Angelicus duet with the little boy, especially if you had a little boy who now has whiskers on his cheeks. Or Placido Domingo with the Vienna Boys Choir. Then you can pull out your heart and put it on the table beside you, right there beside the dish of peppermints, and the cinnamon-scented candle, and you'll know you had Christmas.

5. Want something Christmassy but light

OUR SUGGESTION: Harp music is good for this, like for baking cookies to. It doesn’t pull the emotions. It’s close to the lyre, the instrument the Greek god Orpheus played to soothe the savage beasts, and to win a favor from Hades, the god to whom there is no altar (death), the god with whom there is no bargaining.

Completely upbeat, light and fun is "A Reggae Christmas," by Various Artists, and yes, my friend, "sensei" does rhyme with "pear tree." Listen to it on the way in to work. That's girl's laughter will carry you through your day. Go here ( http://tinyurl.com/y6sp ) to hear samples. Listen to it on the way in to work. That's girl's laughter will carry you through your day. (The Ras Family, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas") And June Lodge's "Joy to the World" will bring joy to YOUR world.

6. Need to get some work done, sick of Christmas, got the kids around, underfoot and bored?

GP RECOMMENDATION: (1) "Great Balls of Fire," Jerry Lee Lewis. How could you possibly be “mindful” with that going on? It’s great fun. It will clear the air. (2) "Don't Worry Be Happy," by Marley.

NC-17 RATED VERSION: The Pogues with Kristy MacColl, "Fairytale of New York". "It was Christmas Eve in the drunk tank ... The boys of the NYPD Choir were singing 'Gallway Bay' and the bells were ringing out on Christmas Day," and C.D.'s favorite line, a wry and melancholic Irish lad himself, God rest his soul in peace, "You scum bag, you maggot you cheap lousy ..., Happy Christmas your ass, I thank God it's our last." Ah, the Irish, they would've conquered the world were it not for .... No cards and letters, please. Sometimes ya gotta vent. That's what art is for, catharsis. (P. S. Use your EQ; don't take "it" out on your partner.)

7. The out-laws are coming, I mean the IN-laws, and you, exhausted, crabby and high on sugar as you are, must clean the house and you aren’t exactly in the MOOD for a Christmas Carol, if you know what I mean

OUR G SUGGESTION: If you haven’t cleaned house with your two preschoolers marching along behind you to a John Philip Sousa march, you haven’t lived. Give the little one a paper hat and get out his toy drum. Ok, now quit laughing and taking pictures and get back to work, you!

OUR PG SUGGESTION: Got older kids you need to get working with you? Call it "the main event," and put on the Jock Jams, "Let's Get Ready to Rumble."

OUR X RATED SUGGESTION: You and your partner put "Cotton Eyed Joe" on -- I mean the Texas version – and invent your own lyrics appropos to the, um, challenges of the moment. (This is popular at office holiday parties with adjusted lyrics as well!) And DO the Cotton Eye Joe as you push that vacuum around. Here's how ( http://www.wikihow.com/Do-the-Cotton-Eyed-Joe-Dance ).

8. Need to be inspired and also to get in touch with the spiritual side of Christmas

OUR SUGGESTION: Handel's “Messiah, Hallelujah Chorus,” of course. Just the chorus, unless you're an aficionado and can afford to tire yourself out.

Remember, if you will, that when you hear "The Hallelujah Chorus," you are to stand up. Do this. Right there at home in your living room. It will do something for you.



9. Now, or any time you’re beginning to feel just slightly resentful of all your “blessings”

OUR SUGGESTION: “Lord, What Did I Ever Do,” by the Oak Ridge Boys is great for attitude adjustment.

10. For the peace that passeth understanding

OUR SUGGESTION: Stille Naq, Noite de Paz, Noche de Paz, Sainte Nuit, Cicha Noc, Glade Jul, Stille Nacht, Po La`i E, or, as many of us know it, Silent Night, the lullaby that's been translated into every language on earth, composed by the greatest unsung duo in musical history, Mohr (lyrics) and Gruber (melody).

We also recommend "Ave Maria." Especially the Caccini, arranged by Brinums, sung by Inessa Galante, available here: http://www.dimusic.co.uk/Caccdeb2.ram . For more, see www.susandunn.cc/vivoperlei.htm .

Let them still your heart and bring you peace.

5 Holiday Survival Tips For Retirees

The holiday season can be exciting and fun, but it can also be exhausting or lonely for some. Retirees need to keep in mind some simple but helpful tips for making the season more enjoyable and less stressful.

1.Keep your focus on the reason for the season. The holiday season – no matter what your religious faith – is a time of celebration and spiritual refreshment. The beginning of a new year can be a time of new commitments, new beginnings and new opportunities. The season offers a reminder and a chance to reorder our priorities and make the most of each day. Adjusting our perspective in light of spiritual teachings can bring brightness and hope into our daily lives throughout the coming year.

2.Pace yourself. Many people arrive at the actual holiday too exhausted from preparations to actually enjoy the day. Many people find it helpful to limit the amount of time and energy spent on any part of the preparations for the holiday at a given time. Some people structure their days to shop for two hours, then rest for one hour, and then do another task. It is also important to pace yourself in terms of activities and events. Sometimes, what we need most is control over our time and activities. If you are becoming overwhelmed by the array of events and activities and you find that your schedule is filling rapidly, you might do well to make some choices. Limiting your activities to the most important events might help you pace yourself and prevent the exhaustion that can drain the fun from everything.

3.Don’t be alone unless you want to be. The holiday season can be very sad and depressing for those who find themselves alone. If you don’t have family or friends nearby with whom you plan to spend part of the holiday, you can still spend the day with others. Check in your community for gatherings of others who would otherwise be alone. Or – better yet – find a community opportunity to help others on the holiday. Most communities have programs that offer meals to the homeless and needy. You can be with others and feel wonderful about the way you spend the day by volunteering to help with preparation and serving of the meals.

4.Don’t lose sight of the budget. Overspending during the holidays is very easy. But it can create a lot of stress in January when the bills start to arrive. It is so much fun making purchases of gifts for children and grandchildren that the budget can easily be forgotten. Be honest and realistic about what you can afford to spend on gifts and entertaining. Then stick to the budget. Keep in mind that a modestly-priced gift that fits the recipient can mean more than the most expensive new thing available. Some families manage spending by setting clear limits on the cost of gifts for the adults in the family. This allows them to spend more on the younger children. Be creative in thinking about holiday spending and try to keep your focus on the right gift for each individual rather than the most expensive.

5.Don’t lose sight of your dietary needs. Many of us have special dietary needs as we grow older. Whether we are just eating smart or we are watching sugars, fats and cholesterol, many of us need to maintain a healthy diet – even during the holidays. In most cases, it is okay to splurge a bit at a holiday dinner or party if we adjust our diets during the rest of the day to keep our overall diet within bounds. Remember that making yourself sick by ignoring your dietary needs will not make the holiday more enjoyable for you or those around you.

I hope these very practical tips will help you get the greatest possible enjoyment and renewal from the holiday season. By keeping things in perspective and monitoring spending and diet, you will probably enjoy the holidays more. Pacing yourself and keeping a view to the meaning of the season in your belief system will help you avoid exhaustion and renew yourself as the New Year begins.